You know those things that keep you up at night sometimes? Yeah, those. Sometimes they're minor, sometimes major. Well, I had a bit of a minor one recently which blew up into some sort of life-shattering crisis.
One particular Sunday, I received an automatic text message from my bank informing me that (redacted info). It was something small, not worth worrying about, but it kept me up most of that night.
It didn't stop at that though. That night, my mind cycled through every potential worry I could possibly have in life, culminating at my own mortality.
For some reason, my own mortality stuck in my head. As in, all the time. Since that night, I couldn't stop thinking of death. When will it happen? What will happen? Will I want to fight it?
This in turn resulted in me building up a lot of stress and anxiety. Unreasonable amounts. Before I knew it I had developed an anxiety disorder. One which is causing me quite a degree of distress.
I can say I have my thoughts under control now, thankfully. On the occasions it does come to mind, it doesn't bother me as much, I just think "Meh, its far from now".
However, the anxiety remains. Oh, does it ever. Having been unable to de-tense my muscles in a few weeks now, I find myself permanently tired. Yawning causes my whole body to go weak. And the permanent tightness in my chest, I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.
Here's hoping this doesn't last long, I'm not all that proud of having to admit that I developed an anxiety disorder over a fucking automatic text from my bank.
